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Enjoy time with your kids - they're awesome!

Ashley Longnecker / September 04, 2015

So many people see us traveling with our 4 young kids and the typical response is, "oh man...I feel for ya!" What? What does that even mean? Do people not enjoy spending time with their kids anymore? Why does everyone assume that bringing them along on our adventure equals pain and suffering and despair?

Honestly, I'm fed up with this attitude. I just don't get it. And I'm growing weary of the assumption that our kids are exhausting, overwhelming, demanding, soul-sucking and life-wrecking. 

I'm also tired of the mindset that all parents have a God-given right to be child free for at least 3 hours a day so they can maintain their sanity. Grandparents, churches and pre-schools are all getting pulled into this and I think it's a real shame.

Because while I can totally relate to needing the occasional break from all the noise and craziness, I also could never imagine my life without these 4 beautiful blessings by my side everyday. 

Listen, I understand everyone's circumstances are different. Single parents have to work, and sometimes both parents need to make ends meet. But I want to encourage you to relish the time you get to spend with your kids - not dread it. If I see one more "I'm so excited my kids are going back to school they were ruining my life" status updates on Facebook I'm going to scream (sorry Jen Hatmaker).

Is it hard to be with your kids all day? No, not really.

I've found that the more I'm away from my kids the harder it is for me to tolerate their loud shenanigans. Since we started this full-time travel thing and we're  together all the time, I honestly don't think about going away that often. While I do appreciate the few times I've gone to the grocery without all 4 in tow, it's also not that big of a deal if I end up taking them with me.

In fact, instead of complaining about having them with me I've been trying to pay attention to them more.

Here are a few things I have learned from being around my kids all day, everyday.

1.) THEY ARE KIND & FORGIVING.

Sometimes when I'm having a bad day and I loose my cool over something stupid, they are really quick to accept my apology and forgive me. They often will give me a hug soon after my blow up and tell me that they love me and you know, that is so awesome! Thanks to them I'm learning to forgive faster. 

2.) THEY ARE SOCIAL.

I see them interact with people of all ages. They aren't afraid to have a conversation with an adult and they play and talk to kids of all ages. So many people worry about 'socialization' of homeschool kids. Our kids have played with lots of people while we have been on the road and they are learning to include anyone, not just whoever looks cool or whoever is around the same age as them. This, I am sure was not learned from us. I sometimes think that our kids are way more social than we are. They're teaching us to get out of our comfort zone and talk to people we don't know.

3.) THEY LEARN THROUGH PLAY & TRAVEL.

Guess what! My kids have interests! And guess what else!! We can make any kind of 'lesson plans' out of what their interest are at the time.

Ada is crazy about ponies. So, we talk about the colors of the ponies, and how many there are and what happens if one of them goes away? How many are left? What do ponies eat? Where does thier food come from? How much does a pony cost? I could go on and on. 

Adali want's to run a farm. So, we research all about how to take care of the animals that she wants to have on her farm. How much would it cost to feed all of them for a month? How do you care for the animals? How much would it cost to build a barn? Where would your farm be? What's the weather like there? How would you make money having a farm? What could you give to the community if you had an awesome farm? How would you make it awesome and unlike any other farm so that people would want to come visit your farm?

This is teaching us how important it is that learning comes naturally. Investing in their interests and helping them understand what it would take to make thier dreams come true is really important. Also, we've started to see how to use situations and cicrumstances to learn and get better, not complain and criticize.

4.) THEY ADAPT EASILY.

I thought it may be hard for our kids to adjust to life on the road but you know what? We have seen them thrive. They have come out of their shell. They are getting along better than ever. They talk more to others than they ever have. They are learning to do more things on their own and they are quick to help each other out when they see someone struggling. Do they miss their extended family and friends? Of course. But we encourage them to write letters and to text them. They are constantly learning and I think parents these days see play as a waste of time whereas most kids who are playing are actually learning important skills. 

So - in my completely unprofessional opinion, it's far more valuable to be with your kids as much as possible than to ship them off multiple days a week for some "me-time." You know, your kids are there because you CHOSE to have them. So, why not invest as much time as you possibly can into thier lives?They want to learn from YOU. They want to be around YOU. I bet if you asked your kids who they wanted to spend time with today, the answer would be, "Can you play with me, mommy/daddy?" You have such little time with them in the grand scheme of things.

When your kids are grown and gone I highly doubt you will look back at these younger years and say, 'I am so glad I sent them away for 3 hours a day so that I could be alone!' I bet your response will be something similar to, 'Where did the time go? I miss them being little!' 

So please, ENJOY your kids! Put down the phone! Get outside and let them play in mud puddles. Let them dress themselves. Say yes more often. Don't rush them! Encourage them every day! And for pete's sake, GIVE THEM LOTS OF HUGS! They're only little for a short time. Enjoy it.

The most expensive birthday present ever!

Ashley Longnecker / July 21, 2015

After our stay near Rochester we wanted to slowly make our way to Albany/Saratoga Springs area to visit with some of Jonathan’s friends. We stopped in Bristol for a week so that Jon could get caught up on work after having some time off in order to get the RV worked on and visit with family.

We are all in love with up state New York. It was an absolutely breathtaking drive to Bristol Woodlands Campgrounds. With my birthday coming up in a couple days I just wanted to be somewhere pretty and near a town with something fun to do.

We pulled up to the camp ground, and the hosts were wonderful. There was a small problem with the site that we were supposed to have. The guy who was in our site decided to take off and leave his camper there in our spot even though he was supposed to have moved it that morning. So, they tried to accommodate us into a site meant for travel trailers, not large 5th wheels. After many sad attempts to back it in we were getting very frustrated with the whole situation. The truck was working real hard and acting up again then I saw it happen.

It began dumping transmission fluid all over the ground. Not just a little, it was a steady stream coming out. I told Jon we need to get the trailer in there or go somewhere else cause we are loosing a ton of fluid. After a few more attempts we decided to just drive back up the hill and take a moment to figure out what to do next. Only, the truck wouldn’t move. It wouldn’t budge in any gear. Craaapp! I just knew it, we blew our transmission. Ken, the manager, drove 20 minutes to the nearest automotive store to get us more transmission fluid thinking that would help. After pouring in several gallons we tried again to no avail. 

At this point, we had been here for 2 hours and still not in a spot, and now our truck wouldn’t move...we are stuck on a hill. I called a tow truck and they said they’d be out in about an hour and a half. The kids (and I) were HANGRY, I was so upset about the truck, and Jon was so frustrated with not being able to get into the spot we were supposed to have...THEN THE RAIN CAME! The manager could sense our frustration and invited us into the office and he went to buy the kids a pizza. Again, Ken the manager is awesome.

Anchor Down, Cleaning Up, Signing Papers

Ashley Longnecker / June 05, 2015

After our fun time at McCormick’s Creek State Park in Indiana, we headed south to Dandridge, TN. When we purchased our trailer at Tennessee RV we received a coupon for this place called Anchor Down RV Resort. Once we looked it up online, we knew that would be a nice, relaxing week we could spend there and it was close enough for us to go to Knoxville to finish cleaning up the house and making sure everything was out of it. 

We got to Anchor Down Monday and got all set up and were really impressed with how nice everyone was and we knew right away that we were at a swanky resort. The grounds were immaculately kept and the view was amazing. 

Waking up from the American Dream

Ashley Longnecker / March 03, 2015

Are you excited?

This is a question I have been asked over and over for the last 5 months since we made our traveling plans known. 

These last 5 months have flown by. There has been so much organizing, selling, painting, preparing and planning going on that I sometimes just stop and have to remember to breathe. Every now and then I’ll find myself trying to think about what it will be like when we are actually out of the house and living everyday in our 5th wheel. But it’s hard. I’ve never slept in a 5th wheel let alone stayed in one, ever. This is a whole new experience for our family. We’ve never pulled a 42 foot trailer behind a truck. We’ve never tried to cram 6 people’s belongings into a 420 sqft space. 

Wanderlust 2: Jon's Response

Jonathan Longnecker / August 31, 2014

Psst...If you haven't read the original Wanderlust post in which Ashley totally calls me out and asks me if we can travel around the country in an RV, check it out here. Back? Ok, read on:

First, I want to say that Ashley didn't just spring this on me out of nowhere. We've talking about this for a year or two. If you had asked me 5 years ago what I thought about selling nearly everything we own, getting an RV and traveling around the country with 4 kids I'd say that sounded insane. Like, really insane. Now? I'm not so sure.

Anyway. I'm very different from my wife. She's the free spirit, I'm the planner. Lucky for her, though, I can still get swept up the big ideas before diving back down into the details. And let me tell you - those big ideas resonate with me. Traveling the country, not having a mortgage, being free of our stuff, adventuring, meeting new people, giving our kids a unique and amazing education - it sounds awesome.

Even though I dig my routines and familiarities there's something deep inside of me that is drawn to ripping myself and my family out of our consumer culture.

A couple of years ago I read a book by Seth Godin called Linchpin. In it he talks about how the industrial revolution changed our society - public schools were created so they could have minimally trained, compliant workers for the factories. Not individuals. Not entrepreneurs. Not artists. Not engineers or lawyers or doctors. Replaceable cogs in the big machine. Suburbs sprung up around the schools and within one generation we had created a consumer culture. One generation was all it took to make the focus of our lives be about buying things we usually couldn't afford anyway. We homeschool our kids for a number of reasons, but mainly because we don't believe in what our education system - public or private - is based on.

And yet here we are living in a very nice house crammed up against 400 other houses in a little suburb in East Knoxville. Can we really make our kids question this whole "American Dream" thing if we aren't questioning it ourselves? My discontent has been bubbling up for a while now, longing for something more - something different. Something based not on what I can buy, but what I can experience with my family.

So yeah - I'm really, really interested in this whole traveling full-time thing. I get it. I feel it.

And then my detail-oriented, planner/thinking self kicks in and I start stressing out. Because let's face it - this is a huge, life-altering direction. We'd be leaving our nearby family, throwing ourselves into all kinds of weird and uncomfortable situations, being crammed into a tiny space all the time, getting rid of our house and all our stuff - which we've been accumulating the last 10 years.

That's a lot to lose.

Is the loss worth the gain?

We're not sure yet, but we're talking, researching and investigating. Next post we'll share with you a pros & cons list we came up with trying to work through all these big questions. Stay tuned!  

Image courtesy Artur Pokusin via Unsplash.